Why is it a big deal that Diva is finally yawning? Because yawning is a sign of relaxation, and this is another step in Diva’s trauma recovery journey. I have noticed that, over time, all my horses yawn when I go to bridle them or halter them. I used to find it annoying, but now realize that they are releasing the last bits of stress before coming with me when they yawn. If I am patient and allow them to finish their yawning, I get a relaxed horse that is ready to interact with me. If I interrupt the yawning or don’t notice the signs that it is coming and try to bridle them (especially Faraona!), I get a horse that fights me to put the bit in her mouth.
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Because horses and humans have very similar mammalian autonomic nervous systems, what I notice in my horses I also notice in my clients. There are certain clients that, when they have uncovered a deep truth, or they have had a big release of stuck energy, they yawn and yawn. One would think they were on the verge of falling asleep, but it is just the autonomic nervous system’s way of ‘letting go’. Yawning is just one of the somatic signs that I watch for in clients.
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‘The Transformation of Diva’ has been a long and deeply gratifying experience for me. (You can look back at our progress by both Instagram, or my blog.) I have learned more about trauma healing from this horse than from any book, lecture or workshop. However, it hasn’t turned out like I thought it would. I have decided that Diva will never be a riding horse, and that is very disappointing to me. But after her sudden bolt last November when I had to pull myself off her by grabbing the fence rail, I don’t think it is wise to try riding her again. I have ridden other horses that have bolted, but this was different. I was immediately aware that she had no sense that I was on her back. She was overrun by her autonomic flight response. When I dusted myself off and came back into the arena, she was standing with her head hung in the far corner. She saw me and came running, putting her head right up against my chest. She was as confused as I was about what had happened. At my age, I can’t afford to take the risk that this could happen again if I rode her.
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But I have also made the decision that Diva deserves to live out her life with me. She is still changing and relaxing more. She lays down more than any horse I have ever had. Seeing her stretched out flat on the ground, she looks like the most relaxed horse in the world. She figured out that strategy on her own, because she never laid down like that when I first got her. She hardly paws at all anymore and all I have to do is say ‘put your foot down’ and she stops. Then she shakes her head or licks her lips instead. Better ways to release pent-up energy. She is learning how to facilitate her autonomic nervous system needs.
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This gives me great hope for my human clients. If a horse can learn to release their bound-up energy, then I am convinced that humans can learn as well. And Diva may prove to be the best teacher of this to humans than any horse I have had. After all, this is where the archetype of the ‘wounded healer’ comes from. If you have walked the walk, you can talk the talk.